You might find yourself in a tricky conflict from time to time – without a doubt, you will, and many people resort to violence in these situations – which only perpetuates more violence.

What do you think the best way to deal with a bully is? If a kid was picking on you in the sixth grade what would your response be? Would you immediately punch the kid in the face? Some might resort to violence. Some other people might retaliate in another way, get upset, or tell a teacher. But none of these is the best approach. The best response to a bully is to make humor of the situation and make fun of yourself with the bully. It’s the only response that he doesn’t expect or want.

Carlos Castaneda said:

“Feeling important makes one heavy, clumsy and vain. To be a warrior one needs to be light and fluid… Self-importance is man’s greatest enemy. What weakens him is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of his fellow men. Self-importance requires that one spend most of one’s life offended by something or someone… The average man is hooked to his fellow men, while the warrior is hooked only to infinity.”

The key to avoiding violence is not to linger with the pettiness of the offense. Yeah, what they said might annoy the piss out of you, but who really cares about that individual’s opinion? There are over 7 billion more that would be more significant than theirs. We should respond like a sponge; absorb the offense, and then squeeze it out. The best way to transcend offense is through humor.

Boxers, MMA fighters, soldiers, martial artists, and any individual who gets their minds and bodies into peak condition! All of them are smart and healthy up until the point that they idiotically ruin everything they strived for by either egotistically, patriotically and/or greedily placing themselves into harm’s way, thus destroying everything they worked so hard to attain.

“You haven’t yet opened your heart fully, to life, to each moment. The peaceful warrior’s way is not about invulnerability, but absolute vulnerability–to the world, to life, and to the Presence you felt. All along I’ve shown you by example that a warrior’s life is not about imagined perfection or victory; it is about love. Love is a warrior’s sword; wherever it cuts, it gives life, not death.”

In situations of conflict, you should simply disregard the offense because an eye for an would make the whole world blind. You eventually have to rise up and swallow your pride and move beyond the snide comments. You have to find a middle ground. You cannot react violently because that will only make things worse, but you also can’t remain complacent because then people would run you over. Find a middle ground where you calmly defend yourself, but not insulting any other people or continuing conflict.