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This Guy Got Drunk And Asked Denmark For Greenland — Their Response Is Brilliant

Be careful not to set your ambitions too low, for you never know what opportunities could open up. A guy with the username ChefShwasty found this out after he got drunk and asked Denmark if he could borrow the country of Greenland.

He wrote on Bored Panda, “At the age of 23, I discovered dark rums, and for a period of time, it made me fearless like a pirate. I felt like the world was at my fingertips. The only thing to stop me was my limited attention span. And after three rum-drinks, that span was very limited.”

“I don’t remember exactly what made me pick Greenland,” he wrote. “It must’ve had something to do with the globe that sat next to my mini-bar. Something inside me lusted for land to call my own, and never one to limit myself, I assumed that more land would be better!”

Because his job put him right around the “poverty line,” there was a huge obstacle to acquiring the country. ChefShwasty continued, “It would take decades to amass a fortune vast enough to acquire the satiable about of land I craved, and being in the mindset I was, if it wasn’t going to happen in the next few hours, it wasn’t worth it. Rum, man. It’s a hell of a thing.”

This is when ChefShwasty decided that Greenland was the country for him. Drunk as a skunk, he contemplated how he would be doing the Danish empire a favor by taking Greenland off its hands. This resulted in him writing an EMAIL to Denmark officials. Though alcohol resulted in him being somewhat “rambly,” the bold individual took the time to spell-check the letter — many, many times.

ChefShwasty concluded, “After hitting send, I must’ve fallen immediately asleep. And being 23, I woke up early in the morning without a trace of a hangover and went about my business. It wasn’t until I checked my email days later that I even remembered my diplomatic conquering endeavor. The memory-jog came in the form of a reply.”

The comedian/daring conquerer wrote, “I was immediately terrified; had I broken laws? What law did I break? What was Denmark-jail like? Did they serve those pastries (Danishes) in Danish-jail? Am I too pretty for jail?”

Then, he calmed down and read the email. The country politely denied his request, then said: “but thank you for asking.” They added that he should “dream big” and even gave him a soft job-offer.

Now, several years later, the copies of both emails are framed and hanging in the guest bathroom of ChefSchwasty’s mother’s home.

Did I regret emailing Denmark? Not even a little,” he wrote. ”But I do regret not applying for that job. Are you listening, Denmark? I’m available.”

The original letter follows:

This is the reply he received:

“Dear Joe age 23.

Thank you for your mail.

We like the fact that you dream big. And you never know if your dreams one day are going to come true.

But in the matter of us giving you Greenland, it is not possible. But thank you for asking.

But maybe you should start small.

Here is a job on Greenland where they are looking for a guy who can teach the pupils English. [Link]

That could be you!

Or maybe just read more about the government of Greenland. [Link]

Good luck finding a suitable country.

Kind regards

MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS OF DENMARK”

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Source: Bored Panda

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