When a human being cheats on their partner, they are always aware of the fact that they are betraying them. Regardless of what claims a cheater makes, they were aware of what they were really doing before, during, and after the betrayal (or betrayals). What’s more, cheaters also enjoy the power they gain by cheating—again, regardless of what excuses or implausible rationalizations they make. Always remember that a cheater made several conscious decisions that resulted in their cheating; there is no such thing as “It just happened!” or “I couldn’t stop it!” Countless couples manage to enjoy and maintain happy, healthy, loyal relationships for lifetimes—it’s not even close to something that is impossible to do or live up to.
Moreover, if a human being genuinely loves their partner, they will not run away from the relationship or jeopardize the relationship for mere lust or release. A person who loves their partner goes to their partner to resolve issues or insecurities; they don’t turn to cheating for therapy. Quite simply, true love cannot involve cheating. Honesty, respect, and faithfulness are essential elements to virtually all loving relationships, and cheating violates all of these mandatory characteristics. Oftentimes it isn’t easy to acknowledge or accept, but a person who cheats on you does not love you, and it’s quite possible that they never did. However, it’s also important to remember that victims are not to blame for being cheated on. Again, cheaters do not respect their partners in even the most basic of senses; cheaters own their cheating, which means they are fully responsible for its cause, its occurrence, and its effects.
According to former cheater Gigi Engle and EliteDaily, Engle has “cared for the men [she has] cheated on. [She has] loved each and every one of them in [her] own way. But [she] didn’t love them enough to be faithful. If you cannot sacrifice the touch of another person — if you cannot resist the physical urge to screw someone else in favor of honoring your relationship — you do not value that relationship enough. For the first time in [her] crazy, messed-up love life, [she believes] that [she is] truly in love — madly, head-over-heels kind of love. The difference with this relationship is that [she has] a deep and profound respect for [her] boyfriend. [She’s] repulsed by the thought of letting another guy touch [her]. It makes [her] skin crawl. The idea of hurting someone [she respects] so much breaks [her] heart.”
Engle’s past misdeeds should not and cannot be excused, but her remorse seems genuine; as long as she continues to be honest with herself and her partner(s), then it will be possible for her to stay on a loving path. However, keep in mind that Engle is an exception to the rule. There are countless insecure jerks in the world, and most cheaters end up being repeat offenders in the long run.
Never forget that you are worthy of both love and faithfulness, and never stop loving yourself because a jerk has cheated on you.
Stop loving them instead.